How do I help him make up his mind?

My ex and I are friends after we broke up. He seems like he still wants to be with me whether as a bf or a friend (jealous of other guys, hurt when he sees me with other guys, long conversations whenever we text/IM, staring at me, and always reminiscing and bringing up inside jokes when we talk). However after being "hot" for a while he will pull away and go "cold" for a few days then he will always come back. We have been through a lot since we broke up last Dec. and he still wants to be friends after a mive fight we had that lead to us not talking for over 2 months. How can I help him make up his mind on what he wants. He seems to be torn between friends, dating, and not talking (probably because he pulls away after we start getting close again. How can I help him decide? Or at least give him an idea of what he wants?