I am jealous of my friends, and I don't know what to do with myself?

I want to start off by admitting that I get this pain in my chest when I think about how great my friends have it. I feel so jealous and I hate myself for it. I hate the fact that it's my fault for not being great myself. I am the first to believe that "think of what you have and don't think about what you don't have". The thing is I do see what they have and see that I have nothing. I see that they have grown up with both there parents and siblings, while I have grown up with one parent and my sister. Oh yea I can't see my two brothers because of matters. It hurts when I see my best friend and his brother play and do stuff together, while I have an empty space beside me and in my heart because I can't play with my brothers. I hear stories of how there childhood was great and fun, while I think that I have never had a childhood. All my friends have jobs and there parents are doing great for themselves, while I have no job and we make barely nothing. I am so envious of there lives, I truly can't believe it. I am suppose to be going to university next year but that's a struggle all by itself. They all go out and have fun they invite me to come but I can't waste my money if I don't make the money. I don't know why I am writing this feeling sorry for myself but only if you knew. I hate where I am at right now in my life. There is no motivation to do anything, I think I am depressed but I don't really know for sure. I need to start getting my life back together but right now I just feel jealous, angry, frustrated a mix of emotions that I don't even know. My life is in my own hands and that's why its my fault. I am letting life beat me down and keep me there, you know. Well anyways I think I have stumbled on far enough but if you have something to say please write I want to hear from you. Please just say something anything. Thank you for reading thank you